Sometimes I think I should go to grad school before it seems out of reach, I should go somewhere else and do something I’m good at. Sometimes I think I should get a mortgage and buy a house and plant flowers in the garden. Sometimes I think that this is not a perfect fit, that there are edges that are catching and I am spending a lot of myself trying to force these things together: myself and the life I want to lead. But one day I will have pressed enough and it will hold, it will stay and after that others things will seem challenging but not impossible.