My sister: “I am not wearing a garter/doing any sort of virginity ceremony disguised as a wedding tradition.” 

Me: He just lost his virginity last year, which is probably well over half his problem. People who lose they virginity at a “normal,” “conventional” age worry me. Something happens when you don’t get fucked before you’re old enough to handle it, and you grow up less-developed somehow. It’s a real shame.

Madi: Yeah, it’s like not being fucked up can fuck you up more than being fucked up.